It’s Thursday.  I know.  I missed Thankful Tuesday.  Honestly, I sat down to write a post and just couldn’t think of anything to write that I truly felt thankful for.  Isn’t that awful?  There is plenty in life that I AM thankful for, It’s just really hard sometimes to feel thankful.  In the midst of kids running everywhere and me running everywhere and trying to make our schedules overlap to some extent; In the midst of starting a daily prayer with my fellow Newbigniners, in the midst of beautiful weather that is finally reflecting fall leaning toward winter, I’m just sad.

It happens all the time really, and I know it stems from my own actions to try and be everywhere at all times.  I have problems saying “No, I can’t do that, I need me time”, because really?!  who in the world actually needs “me” time?!  That whole terminology bothers me to the core.  I am trying to live a selfless, unselfish, life in which I am partaking in the community of other people whom I love and care for.  The one hitch to this whole idea that I don’t need “me” time, though, is that I function so very well on my own.  I absolutely flourish without human interaction.  I love to read and knit and run.  I really like to sit in a cool, bright window seat somewhere, with a cup of coffee in a gloved hand, a book in the other and just be.  I really like to read a little, and then stop and be quiet and pray, and read some more, and maybe, when the book is done, if I can run for a while and think and pray some more,  that’d be great.  Perhaps I should have been a monk right?

Doesn’t a monk’s life sound Ideal?

wake up, pray

make some breakfast

tend the garden

pray

eat

more gardening

perhaps some knitting – as the socks are pretty well worn through and a hat may be nice…

….

Problem is, I do really love people.  I love my family so very much, and I really am very thankful for my husband and kiddos.  I’m thankful too for good friends, who really care about me, even if they think I’m a bit nuts and not always proper.

Anyway.  I didn’t forget to be thankful, I’m just working really hard to mean what I say when I say it, and maybe the trick to that is saying it, over and over and then thinking about why it’s true and putting my thankfulness into action.

Enjoy the rain my friends.